Nighttime Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Late-night's leading hosts spent their evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's just launched immigration initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," portraying it as a blatant pay-for-access system for the affluent.

Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas tune about the president. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then handing that list to the agents at ICE," he sang. "The President ... destroys all he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial initiative which allows overseas nationals to purchase U.S. legal status for the price of one million dollars, or "top-tier" version for $5 million. A government portal guarantees processing "in record time."

"A brief note for you to affluent applicants: prior to you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the card is also designed to "get cash" from companies looking to hire foreign workers, involving hefty costs. "That's a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your choice – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"Unprecedented vetting the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow rich overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the form, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Issues

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval numbers during financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a attempt to address cost of living, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a display of grocery items, where he reacted peculiarly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting conservative news defenses of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he laughed.